Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
