grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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