If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
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