Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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