I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
