Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My vagina just clenched in fear
Holy shit dude........stairs
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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