I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
