i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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