Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
