she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
