i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
