so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
In America we eat man semen.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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