the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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