You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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