You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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