Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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