dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
