i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
