I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
