Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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