I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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