He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Ladies don't puke and tell
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
