this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
