So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
