I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
