Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
