His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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