Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry HylianNerd hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll

Fav 0 960 1065
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.

Fav 20 2654 1078
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(865): View more from Tennessee

Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.

Fav 18 11604 1338
share tweet
(865): View more from Tennessee

It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.

Fav 8 4238 1357
share tweet
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.

Fav 10 3742 1432
share tweet
(941): View more from Florida

Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.

Fav 21 5911 1467
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(571): View more from Virginia

Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!

Fav 5 2053 883
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(580): View more from Oklahoma

How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?

Fav 5 44 63
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(580): View more from Oklahoma

I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.

Fav 0 41 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT