Porn is love you can see.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
