Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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