At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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