my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
