Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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