he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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