well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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