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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick

  Fav 21 2077 788

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.

  Fav 19 1501 3493

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance

  Fav 7 1348 3565

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• (325): View more from Texas

  This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be

  (325): View more from Texas

  Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets

  Fav 3 1153 1520

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs

  Fav 7 2872 968

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.

  Fav 8 1216 885

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.

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• (408): View more from California

  i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track

  Fav 8 944 1490

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• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."

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• (315): View more from New York

  The second I see you we're shot gunning beers

  (1-315): View more from New York

  It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning

  (315): View more from New York

  And your point is?

  (1-315): View more from New York

  Marry me

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude

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