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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I hope im prettier

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it

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• (760): View more from California

  i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (310): View more from California

  At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?

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• (315): View more from New York

  That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation

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