Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.