i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize