It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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