I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
