His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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