Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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