My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I wish i was in the wii world.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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