sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
high people should be assigned attendants
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
