did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
