I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Do vagina's smell?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
