i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
