she was so not down for the gang bang
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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