And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
