k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize