where am i from again
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
