My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
