Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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