every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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