Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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