Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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