you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
